


Wait a minute, I'm passing out, win or lose

by Drakojana



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, General Dark, It's a bigger AU I may come back to later, King Anti, M/M, Medieval AU, Oneshot, Parties, Servant Jack, darkjack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-14 01:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12997287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakojana/pseuds/Drakojana
Summary: Jack absolutely hates the parties.There is one thing, however, that he enjoys about the parties. It's a rare occasion when all of the ruler's friends and most trustworthy subjects are invited to the castle. And the blue-eyed man wishes to see one of them, so despite the hate that fuels him as he overlooks the preparations, he's got one reason to smile. The corner of his mouth twitches upwards as he checks the list of the guests.





	Wait a minute, I'm passing out, win or lose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AssbuttOfTheReaders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssbuttOfTheReaders/gifts).



> Slowly going through all my WIPs, bear with me guys.
> 
> This fic was proofread by the wonderful Em, thank you so much!

Jack absolutely hates the parties. He despises any sort of celebrations in the castle and wishes they could never happen again every time the king orders to begin the preparations. The biggest reason is the fact that the brown-haired man is the head servant. He's the single person responsible for everything; from decorations, through food quality to the actual entertainment of the guests. It seems to be too much for one human to handle but Jack's in no position to refuse. He is a servant, after all, and he would never go against his king.

There is one thing, however, that he enjoys about the parties. It's a rare occasion when all of the ruler's friends and most trustworthy subjects are invited to the castle. And the blue-eyed man wishes to see one of them, so despite the hate that fuels him as he overlooks the preparations, he's got one reason to smile. The corner of his mouth twitches upwards as he checks the list of the guests.

Although the General has an actual name, everybody prefers to use the one he's earned on the battlefield. They call him Dark and nobody dares to question it. Anyone who's ever met the man can agree that it's a perfect name for somebody so intimidating and powerful.

Jack looks forward to meeting the raven-haired man again. They rarely get to see each other as the servant doesn't leave the castle and the General stays in the barracks most of the time. Perhaps this evening won't be as horrible if they manage to have at least a short chat.

 

* * *

 

The brown-haired man pretends he's not looking for the other. Keeping his perfect posture and scanning the ballroom with sharp eyes, he observes everybody. Although there are several other servants present in the room, he cannot just abandon his duties. So he's helping out the guests, making sure they've got everything they need.

Still, he's somehow managed to get surprised as a strong arm coils around his waist and he's pulled towards somebody until their hips connect. He turns around and pushes himself away instinctively.

"Looking for somebody?" The raven-haired man that's now in front of Jack smirks. He's dressed in a clean, formal suit and it's such a rare outfit to see on him that the servant huffs with discontent. He doesn't like when things are out of the usual order.

"Just making sure everybody's enjoying themselves, _General_ ," he replies, putting an emphasis on the last word.

Dark sighs with a smile still on his lips. "I don't get to see you for a month, and that's the treatment I get? You're cold."

"Well, maybe if you didn't try to grope my ass in front of everyone, you would've got a welcoming smile like the rest of the guests."

"That was supposed to be a hug." The taller man rolls his eyes. "I wanted to give you a kiss, too but I see you might've accused me of trying to suffocate you."

"Perhaps later. For now, I have duties to perform."

The raven-haired man grabs a glass of wine from the nearby table and swirls the liquid in it as he speaks. "I've missed you." It's genuine, Jack can tell. Dark drops his smile when he gets serious.

The brown-haired man lightly touches the other's arm. The fabric of the suit is soft and the servant is wearing silk gloves but even through all the material, he can feel the defined muscles underneath.

"I'm truly happy to see you again, I am. But I need to supervise this event."

The General smiles once more, though there's now sadness in his eyes. Jack's heart aches a bit at the sight, so once he sees the other take a sip of the wine, he walks away. There are two ladies currently staring at him, one of them has her hand raised. He needs to serve them.

 

* * *

 

The blue-eyed man's eyebrows raise in something akin to sympathy as he sees the lone man standing beside a table. He looks quite miserable, tugging on the sleeve of the dress he's wearing. It wasn't his choice of clothing in the first place, so no wonder he looks so uncomfortable. Jack breathes in and walks over to him.

"You need to stop fiddling with the fabric."

The brown-eyed man looks at him and his expression can be only interpreted as a call for help. "I don't belong here."

The servant glances around to make sure nobody is paying too much attention to them. Then he grabs a handful of the bottom layers of the garment and pulls it down. It earns a yelp from the other but before anyone can give them a look, Jack's standing up straight.

"The dress was all crinkled up. The material is rigid, so try to be more careful when sitting down."

Mark scoffs as he glances away. "Why am I even here? Can't I just… go?"

The second time the brown-haired man reaches out to the other, he rests his hand on his shoulder in reassurance. "It was his Majesty's wish. I… I don't think we want to find out what he'd do if you left the party."

"They're all some high-class people who wouldn't even spare a peasant like me a second glance if we were out on the streets. We don't have anything to talk about," Mark's eyes narrow when he speaks. "All I'm supposed to be doing here is to look pretty."

Jack clicks his tongue. He can't exactly turn those arguments down. "You could try asking his Majesty, though I don't think you'd be able to get through to him."

They both look in the king's direction. Anti is surrounded by people, deeply engaged in a discussion with his guests. The servant is pretty sure some of the topics of their conversation may be highly important despite their smiles and light attitudes. After all, it's always about politics. The parties are nothing more than a chance to show off dominance and establish your position in the world.

"They know who I am," Mark's voice is now a whisper. "If I tried to approach him, I'm sure they'd start asking again."

The blue-eyed man clenches his jaw. That's true, people who have been in the castle before may recognise the dark-haired man. It's hard to hide when the king himself lets you sit in your lap as his favourite whore during the audiences. Jack can't think of a good solution for their current problem.

"For now, just try to stay away from the conversations. It's just a few more hours. You should be fine."

Mark exhales loudly and wraps his arms around his torso defensively. "Heavens, I hope so."

"I'll check up on you from time to time." The servant squeezes the other's shoulder and gives him a smile. "I won't leave you alone."

"Thanks." Though the smile the brown-eyed man returns is weak, it makes his face light up just a bit.

Jack feels a bit better, knowing he was able to help the other. But when he turns around to face all the other guests, he sees one man slowly walk towards him as he waves his arm. He sighs with resignation as he lets his legs carry him.

 

* * *

 

"So, Anti's still not done with his pet?"

Dark's had three glasses of wine already, though he's holding up pretty well. Jack found out about the other's drinking abilities before, yet he's never questioned how the hell the raven-haired man gained such alcohol tolerance.

The brown-haired man grits his teeth and hisses out. "Not so loud! And don't speak so casually about it!"

"Why not?" The General grabs a snack from the platter Jack's holding. "It's not like the brat is going to do anything to me."

The servant's eyes widen and he wants to elbow the other with all of his strength. He can't do it in the middle of the ballroom, though. Still, he quickly looks around to make sure nobody's heard them.

"Stop using his Majesty's name in public! People will think you're disrespecting the crown!"

"I've known Anti his whole life. I have every damn right to use his name."

"Dark!" Jack feels like smacking the other with the platter, maybe breaking something on that dull head of his will help.

"Stop fussing over it so much. You're always overthinking everything."

The brown-haired man sighs and rubs his eyes. It's not even midnight yet and he's already tired. Partially because of Dark. No, _mostly_ because of Dark.

"Fine. To answer your question, _yes_ , his Majesty is still letting Mark stay in the castle."

"I swear I don't get him. What's so great about this whore?"

The blue-eyed man's whole face goes beet red and it takes all self-control he's got left not to start screaming. The arm holding the platter starts shaking with the barely contained fury, though.

"What did I just say?!" He half-whispers, half-yells. "Shut your mouth before somebody hears it!"

Dark, being the smug bastard he is, simply gives him a confident, yet lazy smile and his eyes narrow as he speaks.

"Then how about you silence me with yours?"

Jack tilts the platter absent-mindedly, the thoughts about just slapping the taller man racing through his mind. Before any food can fall on the floor, though, he straightens his posture.

"Excuse me, I think the guests over there need my attention now," he replies coldly and walks away. He's definitely going to give Dark a piece of his mind later for all of it.

 

* * *

 

"How are you holding up?" The servant lightly taps Mark's shoulder as he approaches him.

The brown-eyed man turns around just to reveal his mouth stuffed with food. He quickly chews on it and swallows, trying to answer. Unfortunately, he forgets about getting something to drink and starts coughing violently once the food gets stuck in his dry throat.

Jack sighs and gives him a smile full of pity. The poor guy definitely doesn't want to be here, especially not in such feminine clothes but you can't go against the king's orders. Thankfully nobody pays too much attention to a man dressed up in such strange fashion, everyone here already knows about the ruler's eccentric tastes.

Once Mark calms down, he replies. "Could be a bit better, you know. But nobody's tried to talk to me for longer than a couple of minutes."

"I guess that's not bad," the blue-eyed servant nods. One glance at the table they're standing next to confirms that the other man has been shoving snacks into his mouth for a while now. "Just don't get sick, the last thing we want is you making a scene."

At least he's not pouring ungodly amounts of alcohol down his throat to gain some fake confidence. The servant has got one drunk guy on his mind already and he doesn't need any more. He tries not to think about it but his subconsciousness counts the glasses of wine Dark drinks anyway. When he sees the General grab another one - _eight_ , for Heaven's sake - Jack decides he needs to drag him out of the room.

Mark pouts when he hears the bad news.

"Listen, I'd stay with you if I could but I need to tend to everybody. If anything goes wrong, I'm the one responsible."

"Sure," the dark-haired man gives him an unsure look. "Just… Come back soon, okay?"

The servant sighs with a smile. "Yeah. I will, don't worry."

 

* * *

 

"Are you out of your goddamn mind?!" Jack tries to scream as subtly as possible once he's marched over to the drunk General.

The sight is truly painful to watch. Dark is already swaying from one side to another, wearing a lopsided smile on his face.

"For you? Always," he slurs as he speaks and the servant's violent urges from before are back, amplified. Jack puts the platter on the table and slaps away the other's hand as he tries to reach him.

"That's it, the party's over for you." The brown-haired man doesn't even try to negotiate as he yanks away the bottle Dark's been holding and trying to take a sip from. When he gets a noise of protest, he only spits out, "This isn't a fucking bar to get your ass drunk!"

"Oh come on, I was having fun with that," the other grumbles. "Loosen up a bit."

Jack can't even turn around for a second because Dark's arm wraps around his shoulders instantly. He squeaks, earning them a few looks.

"Let. Me. Go," he grits out through his teeth. The General isn't very willing to listen, so the servant has to take the matters into his own hands. He grabs the other's arm firmly, sinking his nails into the fabric. "You're leaving."

"What? Noo!" Dark's whine is the worst sound Jack hears the whole night. He abandons any hope of dealing with the problem quietly as some ladies standing near them start giggling as they glance at them. The brown-haired servant prays that the king doesn't notice the fuss they're making.

Dark makes a couple more inappropriate remarks when Jack drags him out of the room but the worst is only waiting for the blue-eyed man. Once he closes the door to the ballroom, the other pulls him close and hungrily kisses his lips. Jack has to push him away but at the same time, he keeps holding on to his hand.

"Stop, just stop it! Every single fucking time you get too drunk and it ends this way!"

The General starts laughing and Jack can't look at that pink-tinted cheeks because he knows despite everything, he finds him cute in that moment.

"I'm not complaining," Dark tries to form sentences in between the giggles. "I don't mind downing an entire bottle if it makes you so sweet and attentive."

The look the servant gives him is full of bewilderment. Even if he wanted to, Jack somehow can't get furious with the man after hearing that. It's true that they don't see each other as often as they'd like. But that's not a reason to make a fool out of yourself on an official party.

"Come on," he mumbles, tugging on Dark's sleeve. "Let's get you a room."

They walk in silence, sometimes interrupted by a quiet hiccup or a burp. The brown-haired servant bites on his bottom lip to stop himself from scolding the other. At least he apologises for every third unwanted sound he makes.

The guest rooms aren't too far from the hall and Jack doesn't feel like going out of his way to give Dark a remote chamber. He opens the first unoccupied one and motions for the other to get inside.

The General walks over to the bed and sits down heavily on it. He stares at the floor for several seconds before mumbling, "Can you come here?"

Jack exhales through his nose and closes the distance between them. When he's close enough, Dark catches him by the arm and drags down so the servant loses his balance and lands in his arms.

"Dark, what are you doing?!" The blue-eyed man groans in annoyance. "It's not funny!"

The older man says nothing at first, only tightening his hold. When he finally feels Jack stop squirming so much, he speaks up quietly. "Please, stay with me for a while."

The other gives it some thought in silence and then replies, "Fine. Move over, it's not very comfortable to half-lay on you like that."

Dark laughs lightly as he scoots to the middle of the bed, though he doesn't let Jack go. They both lie down, the sound of their breathing the only thing heard in the room. However, just before the older one falls asleep, he whispers one last line:

"I love you."

Jack smiles and kisses the General's forehead. "I love you too."

At least that's out of the way. It's been around half an hour and he's worried the guests may have noticed his absence at this point. The servant knows he should get back to the ballroom before the word reaches the king. He should also check up on Mark, the poor man is probably somewhere hiding in a corner.

There seems to be one more problem, though. As Jack lightly pushes himself away from Dark's sleeping form, he realises he can't, in fact, move at all. The other's strong arms are wrapped nicely around his torso, holding him in place. Now frustration and panic start to settle in and he lightly taps on Dark's chest.

"Okay, you can let me go now. I seriously need to leave."

But the sleeping man mumbles something incoherent and his hold only tightens. Jack huffs and continues his struggle, though he already knows he's fighting a lost battle. Dark is a warrior, for heaven's sake. There is no way a mere servant like him can outpower the General. Especially when the other's drunk and can't control his wild strength. Jack might as well try getting out of a bear's clutches.

He continues his flailing for around ten minutes before giving up. The exhaustion from the whole day catches up to him anyway, and his mind slowly drifts away into the land of dreams.

 

* * *

 

Jack wakes up to a light knocking on the door. He guesses it must be one of the maids, given the gentleness. As he opens his eyes, he's welcomed by a lazy grin on Dark's face.

"Good morning, sunshine."

The blue-eyed man's mouth forms a frown as he remembers the reason he's slept in a guest room. "I'm not sure if it's so 'good'," he replies dryly.

He scrunches up his nose as the other's breath hits his face. He still reeks of alcohol, though he appears to be somewhat sober at this point.

"Don't be like that. Admit that you had a nice sleep with me here."

"Somebody's knocking. Couldn't you bother with answering?" Jack sits up and realises he's slept in his clothes. They're all wrinkled up and he scoffs at how unrepresentable he looks. Still, he raises his voice so the person behind the door can hear. "Come in!"

He doesn't expect one of his sisters to peek in. Alison sticks her head into the room and smiles at him gently.

"Hey, Jack. Oh, and a good day to you, General," she curtsies hurriedly as she spots the other man. Dark answers with a nod.

The brown-haired servant realises how it may look like so he instantly jumps out of the bed, a red blush appearing on his cheeks already, though he manages to keep a straight face.

"Ho… how did the party go? I, uh, left a bit earlier."

"I know," the maid giggles. "Actually, about that. I've been looking for you. His Majesty wants to see you."

"Oh. Oh…" Jack's poor attempts at straightening his vest do nothing so he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "When?"

"Preferably, now. I don't think he's too happy about everything. I'll… leave you two now. Good luck."

Before the blue-eyed man can say anything else, Alison shuts the door behind her. He nibbles absentmindedly on his bottom lip, anxiety welling up inside of him. He snaps out of it when he hears the other man get out of the bed.

"I'll talk to him. It's my fault you left too early," Dark fixes his tie and marches towards the door when Jack jumps forward in protest.

"No! I'm the one who neglected his duties, you were a guest!"

"The only thing you do is overwork yourself," the older man looks him in the eyes. "I'm actually sorry for my behaviour last night. I guess I was thinking about you a bit too much as I sipped on the wine and before I knew it, my glass was empty, so I'd get another one, and… you know."

"Still, I shouldn't have let you drink so much," Jack casts his eyes to the ground.

"Stop blaming yourself. Nobody is perfect and yet you try so hard to be a perfectionist."

"I was in charge of everything, Dark! I should've kept my eyes on everyone, I should've made sure everybody was having fun, I should-"

He gets cut off by a kiss. It's a bit bitter, a bit sweet, and still leaves the aftertaste of alcohol. When the older man pulls away, Jack's silent.

"Should've, could've, would've. It doesn't matter. Let's just… go." He holds out his hand for the servant to hold. Jack doesn't protest, sliding his fingers in between Dark's.

As they leave, the General smiles and says, "I've heard that you don't actually have to attend the parties as a servant."

"Well, technically, yes. What's your point?" Jack glances at him suspiciously.

"You're in charge of the invitations. You should know."

The blue-eyed man furrows his brows in confusion. "I'm afraid I don't follow."

"Every single time you send me the exact same thing. Asking to come with a partner. And every single time I show up alone."

"Oh." Jack clears his throat. "R-right."

"If you're a guest, you can't get scolded for anything, right?" Dark grins mischievously.

Jack only snorts in response. Sure, he may be marching towards his doom, as the king is known for not being too forgiving. But with Dark by his side, he feels a bit safer.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed reading, and come over to Tumblr to talk with me! I'm there on [**mantianti**](http://mantianti.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> The title comes from the song [**Can't Stop** by Red Hot Chili Peppers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfOdWSiyWoc).


End file.
